Just Keep Breathing Read online

  Just Keep Breathing

  A DI Benjamin Kidd Thriller

  GS Rhodes

  Dark Ship Crime

  Copyright © 2021 GS Rhodes

  All rights reserved

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  Published Worldwide by Dark Ship Crime

  Cover design by Meg Jolly

  Also by GS Rhodes

  The DI Benjamin Kidd Thrillers

  When You're Smiling

  Just Keep Breathing

  Your Best Shot (Coming Soon)

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  CHAPTER FORTY

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

  DI BENJAMIN KIDD WILL RETURN IN

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  CHAPTER ONE

  Sarah Harper’s voice was hoarse from all the yelling, all the screaming. That’s all her life seemed to have been for the past couple of days, a series of arguments with people that she thought were supposed to be on her side. All because of some stupid bloody pictures.

  Well. A lot of stupid bloody pictures, come to think of it.

  They’d all bought it though. They’d seen them fighting, seen them yelling at one another and crowded around like she’d expected them to. Some were filming it on their phones, others were taking pictures, they were all talking about her.

  It was the only way to deal with it.

  Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She took it out and couldn’t help but smile at the message, before pocketing her phone and carrying on her walk.

  She was avoiding going home. She knew that once she got there, her mum would be all over her wanting to know if she was okay, maybe even wanting to get some shots in for her own Instagram account. There were days when Sarah wondered if her life was a fashion accessory to her mother’s “brand.”

  She shuddered.

  The fact that her mother had a brand.

  She walked through Kingston town with her hands in her pockets, her jacket, the one Dexter let her borrow at the start of their relationship, wrapped tightly around her, her legs exposed to the elements in her school uniform, not knowing where exactly to turn. If only all those people who’d enjoyed watching her downfall at school could see her now, it would certainly give them something to laugh about. To laugh at.

  Sarah Harper with the perfect life.

  Sarah Harper with the perfect boyfriend.

  Sarah Harper with the perfect grades.

  Perfect everything.

  They had no idea. Not really.

  She caught her reflection in the front of the Bentall Centre, her blonde hair being blown about by the wind, her cheeks a little flushed from the cold. To an outside eye, her perfect life was in tatters around her and she had no one else to turn to. And that was true to an extent. There were maybe two people she could call at a time like this. But she knew she shouldn’t.

  Sarah took out her phone and took shelter beneath the awning outside the front of the shopping centre. The stark white lights from inside leaked out and made her squint a little.

  She rounded her shoulders, not wanting to be seen. It was so unlike her. She started scrolling through her friends, former friends, not finding a single name she could click on, a single person she could message. They’d all turned on her, every last one and—

  “Sarah?”

  The voice pulled her focus to a face that she recognised, maybe from a past life. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d heard that voice.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “What are you doing out here? You must be freezing.”

  She swallowed. “I am,” she said. “Just got nowhere left to go, do I?’

  A raise of an eyebrow. The shake of a head. “We both know that’s not true.”

  And they walked. They walked blissfully unaware, into the beginning of a nightmare.

  CHAPTER TWO

  For the past hour or so, DI Benjamin Kidd had not been a detective for the London Metropolitan Police, he hadn’t been in charge of a team of four people tasked with bringing criminals to justice. The only things he’d been in charge of for the past hour were his niece and nephew. He was the storyteller, the climbing frame, the punching bag, you name it, he was it and he didn’t mind at all.

  “Alright, alright, it’s bedtime!”

  This elicited a groan from Tilly, the eldest, and just a series of babbles from Tim who didn’t really know what was going on. But for Tilly, it was the voice of doom. Ben’s sister, Liz, trudged into the living room, a tea towel slung over her shoulder. She looked at Kidd who was holding Tim, his six-month-old nephew, and three-year-old Tilly was hanging off his arm. “Thanks for watching them.”

  “Thanks for cooking dinner,” Kidd replied with a smirk. They were one of the shining points of his life. He loved coming around to see them and spending time with Liz. The kids loved him and he loved them. The best part being, when the night was over, he got to go home to a quiet house and not be disturbed by them at all hours of the night.

  Between them, they put Tim and Tilly to bed, returning downstairs to find the house smelling so wonderful, Kidd’s stomach growled involuntarily.

  “Oh, sorry about that,” he said. “Been a long day.”

  “You’re not skipping meals are you?” Liz asked as she walked back to the kitchen.

  “No, Mum, I’m not skipping meals,” Kidd said. “Just been a busy time at work and when it’s busy, I don’t get the chance to breathe, let alone eat.”

  “Big case?” she asked.

  “Not yet,” he replied. There had been a lot of paperwork after the last case and he had a feeling that something else was around the corner. The scumbags of the world didn’t like to give them a break if they could help it. Kidd had barely been back at work a month after being signed off with stress, and the case they’d brought him back to work, should have bee
n enough to have him signed off all over again.

  The Grinning Murders were a series of murders that had occurred fifteen years ago, when Kidd had first stopped being a uniformed officer and become a DC. When a body like that had shown up on the borough again, Detective Chief Inspector Patrick Weaver had wasted no time bringing him back. The copycat had been nothing more than a poor imitation, but it was still enough to give Kidd and his team the runaround.

  They’d gotten news of the conviction today, a life sentence for what Tony Warrington did to Jennifer Berry. It was the outcome that they’d hoped for but didn’t dare expect. It wasn’t every day that you got a good result like that, so they basked in the win, allowing themselves to relax for the afternoon. But it would only be a matter of time before something else came along, sending them all over town trying to track down some nutcase who was running riot. Whatever it was, he hoped it didn’t come too soon.

  “Anything juicy?” Liz asked, opening the oven to check on the roast. The smell that wafted out almost had Kidd clutching his stomach. It certainly had his mouth watering.

  “You’re killing me here, Liz,” he said with a smile. “It smells great.”

  She turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “I take that to mean you’re not telling me a damn thing.”

  Kidd sighed. “I’m trying to get better at not talking about work all the time,” he said. “I got obsessed. I need to be less like that, for my own sanity.”

  “Plus, you have someone else to occupy your time now,” she said, a knowing look in her eye. “Do I get to meet him properly anytime soon or do I just have to suffer you making goo-goo eyes at your phone whenever he messages you?”

  She was talking about John. John McAdams. Kidd had met him at a bar about two weeks ago, and deciding that maybe he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life, had tentatively dipped his toe into the dating pool. He was still getting over the disappearance of Craig Peyton nearly two years ago, so it was baby steps, but things were looking up.

  “You’ll meet him at some point,” Kidd said, heading to the fridge. “You want a drink?”

  “You really are dodging everything I throw at you tonight, aren’t you?” Liz said with a laugh. “I’m zero for two.”

  “Try harder,” Kidd said, pulling a bottle of wine and a bottle of cider out. He moved to the cupboard to get glasses.

  “So, your school reunion is this week, isn’t it?”

  Kidd made an involuntary shudder. “It is. I’m…I’m thinking of skipping it.”

  Liz mock gasped, her hand flying to her chest. “No, you missing a social event, it couldn’t possibly be true!” She rolled her eyes and walked over to the cupboard where the glasses were, pulling out three wine glasses and a pint glass for his cider. “You should go.”

  “Do I have to?”

  “No,” she said. “But you never go out.”

  “I go out,” he protested. “Why do we keep having this conversation?”

  “Because you don’t go out,” she retorted. “You go out with John, you sometimes go out with your team, but this is meant to be fun. You can go there and you can flaunt your DI status to all the people who bullied you at school.”

  “And they can ask me for free legal advice?” he offered. “Or they won’t tell me anything because they’ll think I’m going to cuff them there and then.”

  “Kinky.”

  “LIZ!”

  “I’m kidding,” she groaned. “Stop being so dry all the time.”

  She lifted the lid off the veggies that were bubbling away on the stove, giving them a quick stab with a knife to check if they were done. She opened her mouth to speak again, probably to start another onslaught of harassment about him going out, when the doorbell rang.

  “Saved by the bell,” he said with a waggle of his eyebrows. “I’ll get it.”

  He headed out of the kitchen and down the hall, opening the door to see DS Zoe Sanchez on the porch looking like a walking icicle. The breeze that came in with her drove its way right down into Kidd’s bones. It really was fresh tonight.

  She looked up at him and smiled. She’d let down her brown curls that she usually kept away from her face during the workday and had changed from her work get up into a pair of jeans and a sheer, black blouse. She’d even put on a little bit of makeup for the occasion.

  “You look nice,” Kidd said with a smile.

  DS Sanchez’s brow furrowed. “Implying that I don’t usually?” she asked.

  “Ha ha.” Kidd rolled his eyes. “Come on in, I’m sorting drinks. Wine or cider?”

  “Cider for me,” she said, shrugging off her jacket and hanging it on the hooks by the door. “Sorry it took so long to get here. Got caught talking to Owen on my way out.”

  “Christ, poor thing,” Kidd replied.

  “He started talking about the case, the conviction and such, and then about going for a drink.” Zoe walked into the kitchen. Her face brightened when she saw Liz. “Liz, you’re looking well. It’s been ages.”

  “Way too long!” Liz replied, hurrying over to wrap Zoe in a hug. She pulled out of the hug. “Okay, don’t mind me, I’m just about to dish up, you guys keep talking.”

  “What did you say?” Kidd asked.

  “I told him I was coming here, and he said maybe some other time, and then I left because it was so awkward!” She opened her bottle of cider and poured it into the glass. “Do I want to be dating someone? Probably. Do I want it to be Owen Campbell? Absolutely not!”

  “What’s wrong with DC Campbell?” Liz asked. It was a question that only someone who didn’t work with DC Campbell would ask.

  “He’s just…”

  “He’s DC Campbell,” Zoe finished. “But we’re talking about work and that’s boring. What were you talking about before I got here?”

  Liz eyed Zoe gleefully, knowing that she would have someone on her side in this and Kidd felt his stomach drop.

  “I’m trying to convince Ben to go to his school reunion this week,” Liz said. “He’s saying he doesn’t want to go but not giving a real reason, so…” Liz shrugged and gestured to the two of them. “Discuss.” She went back to serving up dinner, Kidd sending daggers into the back of her head.

  “Come on then,” Zoe said, turning back to him, taking a victorious sip of her cider before she carried on speaking. “What’s the reason you’re not going?”

  “I…I don’t have the best memories of that school,” Kidd said. “I think, as a night, it will be dull and I don’t really want to use up a whole evening that I could be spending with Liz or you or John, hanging out with a bunch of people from my high school that I don’t even talk to anymore.”

  Zoe eyed him carefully, seeming to process this for a moment. She eventually shrugged. “That’s actually a pretty fair reason,” she said. “All I’m saying, though, is that it could be fun. You could go with John, make an evening of it, just show off your life a little bit and go home. It might not be all that bad.”

  The phone started ringing, a shrill chime that seemed to rip through the whole kitchen. Liz called out an apology and said that she’d get it. Zoe’s laser focus was still on Kidd.

  “Thoughts?”

  Kidd shrugged. “I don’t know, that’s not a bad idea.”

  “Really?”

  “It might not be horrible if I go with someone,” he said. “I mean, honestly, the worst part about going would be that I would be there by myself and it would be a terrible throwback to being fourteen and so awkward.”

  “What’s the difference now?” Zoe said with a laugh.

  “The difference now is that I’m awkward, but have a badge and a duty to pretend that I’m not.”

  Zoe lifted her glass to cheers him. “I will drink to that.”

  “To what?” Kidd asked. “Faking our way through our careers?”

  Zoe nodded. “Exactly that.”

  They clinked their glasses together, the two of them taking long gulps from their drinks. Kidd had been working wit
h Zoe for the past ten years or so. They’d been put on a team together and they just happened to click. Zoe didn’t take any nonsense from anybody, and that included Kidd. Even though he was technically her boss, it didn’t feel like that half the time. She’d put it best when he’d come back from leave a couple of weeks ago—they were friends first, colleagues second.

  Liz reappeared in the kitchen, clutching the phone in her hand. She looked like she’d had the wind knocked out of her sails. Kidd’s mind immediately went to the worst-case scenario, wondering who it could have been on the phone.

  “That was Greg,” Liz said. She looked up at them. She didn’t have tears in her eyes, so maybe it wasn’t all that bad, but she still looked pretty hurt by whatever had been said. “He’s not coming home for dinner, apparently something at work came up.”

  Kidd let out a heavy breath. He’d expected worse than that.

  “No problem,” Kidd said. “We can save some food for him, it will be fine.”

  “Yeah,” she said. “Sorry, we just argued about it. I’ve barely seen him for the past couple of weeks. Miss my husband, you know?”

  Zoe put her glass down and hurried over to Liz, wrapping her in a hug. Kidd followed suit and did the same. He hated seeing his sister hurting. Greg was a good guy most of the time, Kidd didn’t want to think the worst of him, but he certainly didn’t want anyone making his sister feel like that.

  Liz pulled herself out of the hug and took a deep breath.

  “Okay,” she said. “Wow, didn’t expect to be almost crying tonight.” She shook herself a little, fixing the smile back onto her face. “He’s just working a lot, and it’s obviously getting to me more than I thought. Whew. Okay. Let’s get to the table or this is going to go cold. Ben, you want to grab the wine?”

  Zoe took Liz into the dining room while Kidd headed back to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of wine. He was unable to shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. He shook it from his head, sure that he was overthinking it.